Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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