I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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