I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
