Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
