Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
