I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize