i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So much rum. So many feels.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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