I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
