She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
