I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
