i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
