He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
