we're making bets on your personal life
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
