the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
