drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
