There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
