so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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