GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
