I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
