is your mom at the bar?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
