During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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