We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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