We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
