There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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