Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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