i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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