I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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