dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
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You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
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you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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