pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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