just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
