What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
