So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize