It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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