My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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