i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You made out with two different species that night
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
