I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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