Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize