You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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