you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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