it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
