We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
