getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
