you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
