Have you finally orgasmed yet?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize