I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
