I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize