I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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