Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
