I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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