Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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