You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
