i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
