I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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