i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
