What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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