so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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